Sunday, March 02, 2003

Had the most horrible dream two nights ago :( decided to share it seeing as I Can´t get it off my mind..I get flashes of visions from the dream in the middle of lectures, eating or even ... :/
I can´t remember the whole lot, it seems everything was in a mess at home (thats a new thing yeah..right) and it seemed like there was a carcass on a shelf or something, loads of rubbish covering it :Þ I kept meaning to tidy it up, take it out to the garbage pail, but I also kept putting it off, decided it could wait till morning, then till evening and so on...Then when I finally saw it was rotting and there worms emanating from it, I brought myself to tidy it up but found, much to my surprice that under it all was Elena. She was all blue and dehydraded, gasping for air..I gave her some water and was about to clean her when I noticed that her leg was horribly broken..
O.k. obviously this is a form of bad concience, I´m working far to hard, staying out two evenings teaching as well as two late afternoons per week and the at the weekend, at least this time round, I sent them to their grandfathers farm to spend the weekend whilst I jetted off to this conference. As well as a quilty concience from not giving my kids enough time there´s also the added stress of working full time at one job, teaching two different courses for grown ups in the evenings, being the editor of the school paper that is due to be printed in a weeks time and is FAR behind schedule top it all, added responsibility at work which I find myself (as I noted to the headmaster) not qualified enough to handle.... But the dream was horrid, just thinking about it makes me want to curl up into a corner and cry.....It´s kind of irritating all this stress because the winter so far has been so nice and I´ve managed to keep my ...hummm well, serotin level pretty balnced, i.e. I, for a change haven´t been down in the dumps. I´ve finally gotten over my ex properly, which gave me added control over my life and everything seemed to be going so well....oh well the paper thing will be over in a week .... Sorry to be so bothersome and low :-) I´ll be in a better mood next time I add an entry, I promice !


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