Sunday, March 28, 2004

Shit according to the religions ;-)

Taoism - Shit happens, so flow with it.

Confucianism - Confucius says, "Shit happens."

Buddhism - If shit happens, it isn't really shit.

Zen - What is the sound of shit happening?

Hinduism - This shit happened before.

Islam - If shit happens, it is the will of Allah.

Protestantism - Let shit happen to someone else.

Catholicism - If shit happens, you deserve it.

Baptist - We'll wash the shit right off you.

Judaism - Why does shit always happen to us.

Agnosticism - What is this shit?

Atheism - I don't believe this shit.

Rastafarianism - Hey, this is good shit, mon.

Christian Science - If shit happens it will clean itself up.

Mormonism - Our shit is cleaner than your shit.

Hare Krishna - Shit happens, Ramma Ramma!

Jehovah's Witnesses - Let me in your house so I can tell you why shit happens.

7th Day Adventism - Shit happens on Saturdays.

Episcopalianism - If shit happens, hold a procession.

Lutheranism - Shit happens, but as long as you're sorry, it's OK.

Anglicanism - It's true, shit does happen - but only to Lutherans.

Charismatic Catholicism - Shit is happening because you deserve it, but we love you anyway.

Orthodox - St. Sergius found his faith in deep shit.

Voodoo - Shit doesn't just happen - somebody dumped it on you.

Fundamentalism - There's no shit in the Bible.

Native Americans - Shit is sacred when it happens.

Shintoism - You inherit the shit from your ancestors.

Shamanism - Whoaa...Holy Shit!

Sikhism - Leave our shit alone.

Marxism - The rich shit exploits the poor shit, but deep down all shit is alike.

Socialism - The same shit happens to everyone.

Capitalism - Shit happens, and it'll cost you!

Materialism - Whoever dies with the most shit wins.

Realism - I think I need to take a shit.

Repressionism - I'll hold this shit in forever.

Americanism - Who gives a shit?


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